I’ve already shared an idea with you about the positive thinking and the benefits of it. But it is not always possible. Sometimes we have different, not positive thoughts. At times it is blaming and judging others. All emotions have their right to live. Some of them, such as joy, satisfaction, and compassion are very constructive, help us to feel better, happier; while some of them, such as anger, guilt, and judgment are destructive emotions, and we feel worse physically when we experience them.
Feeling hurt is a very important signal to the person that something is not working in the relationships with people around. It is important to understand the meaning of this signal. If we try to dig deeper into the meaning of this feeling, we can see that the person feels hurt when his expectations from another person or from the world around were not met.
Reasonable questions to ask: “Were my expectations adequate? Did the other person, who made me feel hurt, knew that I’m hurt and I do not want that? Was he aware about my expectations?” And if the answer to these questions is “No”, is there a reason to get so upset? In this case you should clarify the situation, talk about your expectations and learn the lesson for the future. And if the answer is ‘Yes” – then it is possible that the person does it knowingly, trying to change you for better.
Anyway, whatever it is, feeling hurt and angry with the other person is a very heavy weight on your shoulders. When you can’t forgive, you destroy yourself at the first place. Some people keep their anger and feeling hurt for many years, thinking that it is a punishment for the other person, but it is a punishment for you. Remember it!
Forgiveness requires a lot of inner strengths, and bravery. To forgive, you have to make a significant effort to separate the pain that you experienced from another person. The pain can stay, as it is not always possible to forget what another person did, even if there is forgiveness. Painful mark inside us can stay all our life, but it does not mean that there is no forgiveness.
We might not remember the nail, that hurt us in the childhood, but we have a scar from it. We are not angry, not blaming, forgive it long time ago, but the scar can remind us about this trauma sometimes.
Each of us should try to understand what is a sign of complete sincere forgiveness. There is no advice; no one can help you to understand the criteria. You can only understand it by listening to yourself.
When you stop judge and blame others, you feel wonderful inner harmony. There will be less negativity, worries, and aggression. Relationships with people around you will improve. And, more importantly, relationships with yourself will also get better. Absence of judgment will give you lightness and inner freedom. Remember that each of us has different starting points, different experiences, leading to various actions, and each of us is taking the best possible decision based on the information and experience that he has at the moment.
We all have pains that we can’t forget, but maybe we can forgive? Wishing you to find a strengths and bravery to forgive at least one person today…